How Parents Can Maximize Their Child's Speech, Language and Social Skills

Tips for daily interactions with young children:

1. Structure conversations at eye  level in a “give and take format”, only talking on your turn.
2. Comment and wait for a response rather than asking yes-no, or rhetorical questions.
3. Especially for children 0-3 years, talking about the here and now is the most effective way to teach language.
4. Join your child in play rather than narrating his play from afar.
5. Imitate your child's utterances to validate that you receive his messages and that his messages have meaning to you. By doing this fairly frequently (not all day long!), you will encourage your child to imitate you which is how they learn.
6. Remember to keep interactions fun and social.  The more creative and animated you are, the longer you will keep your child interacting with you.
7. Positive talk!  Praise and complement whenever you catch your child doing something favorable.
8. Model social greetings and manners rather than forcing on command.
9. Model a calm demeanor, and clear speech. Do not comment on speech disfluency or stuttering.
10. Encourage regular play dates and provide structuring if needed. Serve as a mediator if your child demonstrates difficulty in problem solving with peers.
11. Foster communicative independence as your child gets older, by having your child make phone calls to invite friends over, order in a restaurant, or RSVP to parties.
12. Communicate for a variety of reasons such as to share information, get information, make a joke, or give instructions (as opposed to only for care giving needs).
13. Communicate primarily at the same language level as your child, and slightly beyond to model what they can be saying next.  If they use primarily1-2 words, then you use primarily 1-4 word utterances. More or less than their level is o.k. too, just not all the time.
    

1. Get into you teen’s world by learning how to text, or use whatever their preferred method of communication is (grunts excluded).
2. Schedule periodic activities with your teenagers that don’t involve conversations about homework or chores. Keep conversations centered on the present activity. (e.g. if you go to the gym, talk about your work out, and not  what has to be accomplished when you get home).
3. Encourage your teen to address issues with teachers or employers in a face-to-face meeting rather than via email, or your involvement.
4. Have your teen start keeping his/her own schedule, and respond independently to requests for commitments such as babysitting or volunteering.
5. Offer cuing to look at you when he/she talks.  
6. Encourage elaboration by using the rule of 3 brief sentences to respond to an open ended question such as "How was the party?" (Tell them that if they give you all the details  on your first question, you won't have to ask so many questions!).
7. Encourage proper use of pronoun referencing to limit vagueness  by asking for clarification even if you know what they meant (e.g. "Who did that?").
8. Honor input to family discussions, and listen attentively when he/she talks to you.
9. Share your feelings with your teen so that they can learn how to appropriately express their emotions. For example, “I am getting so frustrated with you.  I don’t like having to tell you three times to do something.”
10. Compliment them on specific communication behaviors to help improve their social confidence.  Some examples:            

• "You were great at telling that story. You're so funny."      

• "You seem to be  slowing down more when you talk.  I can understand  every word
         you are saying now."    
• "My friend said she saw you today, and that you were so friendly to her."

• "Sounds like you handled that well. That must have been a little awkward."

Good luck, and feel free to let me kow how you are doing.  

You have all summer, so make the most of it!

Judy

For questions, or topics you would like me to blog about please contact me at: jRosenfield@waityourturnllc.com. More information is available on www.waityourturnllc.com.